Revoking Regret
Regret’s sting must be removed
Isabelle Peng
6/23/20255 min read
“Don’t live your life regretting yesterday. Live your life so tomorrow you won’t regret today.”
~ Catherine Pulsifer
I now know how it feels when time is running out at the worst time in my life. This can intensify my regret by many folds.
One of the hardest moments in my “regret” journey was when I felt it was all over. Weeks had gone by quickly yet slowly. Quickly because I literally had got nothing done; slowly because I felt stagnant. So, time slipped through fingers like sand. There were days when I felt doomed! I kept thinking: there was no redemption for me now.
This was how I felt before and after the Spring break. While everyone was looking forward to a blissful vacation, I was surprised how much time I had wasted due to the issues I faced from the beginning of the semester. While everyone came back recharged and ready to finish, I was just starting to heal. Worse yet, I was behind on all assignments!
I was in shambles. This was also the time I learned all the baggage I refused to deal with had amped up heavier than I could have imagined. I went to therapy for the first time for years at my school and it was bleak.
To the surprise of everyone including myself, I was still passing, actually more than passing. I started to get high Bs and even As. For Ringling, those meant above average and near industry standard, respectively.
But regret was still clunking me down even though I had pivoted. To revoke regret, I mainly did two things.
First, I made better friends. Friends who loved and cared for me. Friends refused to give into the dark and focused on the light. Friends accepted me as who I was and made me better and not bitter.
Second, I focused on what truly mattered to achieve my goals in the long run. I spent less time trying to win people’s favor and more time working. I spent less time wishing and more time doing. I stopped doing things that are futile and started concentrating on things to bring me joy.
With regret swelling in me, these decisions were easy to make but hard to be carried out. I was desperate. With six weeks left for the Spring semester (yes, six weeks), would it even be worthwhile making any changes?
I felt God told me, “It’s not too late.” He promised me, “if you just start doing things that would help to pivot your regret feelings, these six weeks will be the best six weeks in your whole Spring semester.”
And He was right.
Pivoting kicked baggage off and helped me get back on the road, but this didn’t automatically kiss regret goodbye. My regret feeling got more intense.
Why didn’t I make better friends sooner? Why didn’t I start doing this sooner? Why didn't I… the list goes on and on forever. However, I realized that I did stop wishing for a change, and did start making a change. So, I realized that I need to rebuke my regret feeling so it won’t ruin my today.
I kept reminding myself: “You have made better choices. Now embrace them. Enjoy the company of your new friends. Enjoy the freedom of working without demanding affirmation. Better yet, you can now allow the good stuff in because you let the bad out. (I mentioned this in the first post - allowing ourselves to grieve, yet we may need to go back and force to finally get rid of regret feeling.)
To “forget” is the hardest step toward revoking regret. This is why I think “No Regrets” may not be possible and may even hinder growth, as mentioned in my second post. Instead, I think “No pain, no gain” may be the path to success.
When we have learned from our mistakes and accepted them, we may then realize the hidden beauty regrets may bring … this is when we can fully remove the sting of regret!
Give myself grace. Forgive myself. We all make mistakes that can turn into regrets. However, mistakes also reveal what we need to work on. I certainly learned a lot during the Spring semester. When I started on my art journey, I felt God told me, “Isabelle, you want to do all these grand things for me but in order to get there – I must train you not only in skill, but also in character.”
These storms of mistakes and heavy regrets are no fun to go through. But if we stick it out, allow ourselves to grieve and learn from them… we will find their beauty.
One night, a storm passed by while my mom and I went for a walk. We saw a rare purple sky, which lasted only several minutes.
How often do we allow storms in our lives to block our vision? If I dared not to go out after the storm, I would have missed such a great show of what nature would have brought us! Literally and figuratively.
The view was marvelous. I wish you all were there to see it. It confirmed that regrets don’t mean it’s over. It’s a sign of possible renewal of greater things to come when we dare to learn from our mistakes leading to regret. Like the sky and the dandelion weed, they can bring out so much beauty than we could expect.
To end this series of posts, I would like to share my photo in front of a cherry blossom tree on an early rainy evening. Surprisingly, when we went back to take a better picture on a sunny afternoon, it wasn’t as pretty/special. Sometimes, beauty only shines in the most horrible circumstances!
Regrets may be the key to fulfilling our greatest wishes.
So… would you rather resolve your biggest regret or fulfill your greatest wish? Or, may they lead to the same destiny? :)
Till Next Time,
Isabelle