Battling On
Roses are red, Violets are blue, The sky turns blue, I've been less blue and hope you are too, Happy Valentine's Day to you!
2/11/20253 min read
"Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes it's the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering I will try again tomorrow."
~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The sky turns blue,
I've been less blue and hope you are too,
Happy Valentine's Day to you!
It's been a while since my last blog. Many, many things have happened. I've been healing a lot. Into the spring semester, there haven’t been just flowers but also showers. I've been grieving, I've been fighting, and I've been crying. There have been many unexpected battles for me this semester. New growth brings new challenges.
Through these challenges, I felt time is passing so slowly, yet I never had enough time to complete my plan. When I was in pain, I felt like watching the slow sand of time passing through my fingertips. I felt stressed out and so hard to concentrate. So, I took a much-needed weekend to recover. I took it easy and paced myself. Sometimes, our best is our best even though it is still not as good as we wished for. Every day brings a different experience and that's okay.
I told one of my friends this - One day at a time is good enough, but one breath at a time is okay too.
I've been struggling with being in the hole since the semester started. It's also the first time that suicidal thoughts have resurfaced in my mind. I wished I could just kiss my worries away. Or better yet, go into a deep sleep and never wake up till everything is over. The problem is - life doesn't work that way.
Life is like what described in the song, "Going on a Bear Hunt," We can't go around our troubles, go above our troubles, or go under our troubles - we can only go through our troubles. (Haha, check the video!)
But just like what I said in my last blog, God will lead us out. I've been clinging unto this promise as my lifeline. It hasn't been easy to believe but I am still standing. If He led me then, He will lead me now. That's the promise that He gave to me. I am His child, and therefore, He is my loving Father who will give me protection, His presence, His love, and so much more!
Today, I'm beginning to see the light. Hollow moments will happen but through God, He will redeem us. He not only fills the holes in us, but also, He will pour in Himself till overflow if we trust Him. He may not satisfy every need that we hope for, but He will certainly fill every hole to bring us to where He wants us to be.
I have been on many adventures since my last blog. From OA Expo to a Beginner's Business Workshop, I will share those experiences with you all very soon. I feel it is important to share my ups and downs with you when they are still so real and so present. Actually, my art boot camp has been going much smoother than I expected. Observational Drawing and Color is right now one of my favorite classes. I have posted my most recent still life drawings. I named it "Broken Cupid" after how I felt after feeling left out in another class. (Which, I'm happy to report, is now getting better!)
Speaking of cupids, Valentine's Day is around the corner! I have perfected my Chocolate Truffle recipe! Sometimes cooking helps me to think and relax other than just doing art all day, every day! ^^
Let's keep going, I'll share my other adventures with you all very soon! Let's battle on, together.
If you're like me, you had a slow start - let's be like Paul: "Forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead!" (Philippians 3:13)
As I mentioned at the beginning, Spring brings flowers so let's not forget our pollinator, our bees - all our struggles will be used for good!
Till Next Time,
Isabelle
